Kévin

I always get asked why I came to France, because the French are quite interested in why anybody would bother coming here when they want to escape it.  In fairness, this isn’t limited to the French, anybody who has moved countries will have been asked this; followed by a tale of how much the person who posed the question wants to live where you came from.

I personally just wanted to, so I did, voilà.  But this doesn’t make an interesting story enough, people are seeking intrigue and perhaps a deportation story (when you have two passports, it seems to raise the question for some bizarre reason).

I’ve decidedly changed my direction when the question is thrown out there.  I’m here to bang French dudes.  The icebreaker of all icebreakers (to employ some bullshit managementism for you there).  Needless to say this seems to work, to the extent it becomes a self-fulfilling prophacy at times.

But I divert from the original concept of this post (see I planned something in advance).  The point is to bang French dudes you need to speak French, it comes part and parcel.

I had a time when I was confident I could throw down a perfect reflexive verb, like Kanye at a music award interupting Taylor Swift.  But then things went down, and that confidence blew up in to a catastrophic mess.

My internal voice tells me I couldn’t conjugate an er verb without looking a fool, so I don’t, I take the easy way out International English.  But I’m starting to get back up, you see, contrary to the myth that everybody in Paris speaks English, there are are a shitload of people that just can’t.  Or when dealing with any higher functioning extention of the government, won’t.

Par exemple, my bank branch calls itself « agence internationale », claiming there are many people who will talk whatever language you throw at them.  Only if it’s French, because ain’t nobody there who speaks anything else.  Each time I have to deal with something pointlessly technical, complex or day to day with them, it’s conducted in French.  And my god can I hold that shit up good, like Atlas but mastering the complexities of masculin and féminine and laying the ground work with the correct de, du, des, à, au, aux and etc.  How can I?  No fucking idea, but it just comes out.  I don’t think about it and we’re on form.

But I forget this and the many times that I’ve had to explain the hilarity of my own body to a medical professional while some how knowing the words for the respective parts.  When I feel there is no other way out, the French flows.

Why am I rambling on about this?  Because today, I’ve done something mundane as having my television box replaced.  Because she is fucked and I want my TV which I pay for.  I don’t need this nor have I been put in a position where I have to fix this, but I still picked up that phone, called the number and went through the entire ordeal to make this happen.

It doesn’t sound big, but the waining scream of that lack of confidence that just won’t fuck off, kept me from doing that for a few weeks.  Overstepping that shit, that’s a victory, one that brings me back to my end goal.  Banging French Dudes.

How am I bringing myself out of a situation where I’d rather Netflix myself to death?  One word at a time, conguated to perfection.

Arc bar has been closed down more than once for noise problems, so I have very little sympathy for them when I can hear bass booming in my basement.

We ain't even close. So complaint to the council when I can bother writing a «noise diary». I might even start it now. 23h52 - music appears to be shit.

But enough about my first world problems, I've got an interview for a weekend job tomorrow. I hate interviews they get me all flapping my arms nervous.

The only way I can get to it is by bike, so I'm also quite concerned about the weather tomorrow. I won't be able to get changed or store a bag, so I have to ride in my formal stuff and hope for the best.

Knowing my luck it start pissing it down and I'll show up mud deep in to failure. I totally need this to pull off too, the extra income is very much needed now that I'm about 200£ in the hole every month. Thanks Dave (you dish faced prick).

I've also had a further movement on to the plan for this year, I've booked off time in May to take about two weeks off to get things sorted out, have a look at my options and see how I get on. Flights aren't too bad (86€ return) but I need to find a fairly cheap hotel.

I should be able to book it all in March come bonus time.

( This is totally unrelated… )

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So some how I managed to pull it off a couple times this morning.

Sure it's only 4km but its a start and it can be done, which is important as I can't afford another month of bus fare.

The only problems I'm having now is pain and soreness from the inflexibility in my wrist and that I don't have full flexibility in my elbow/arm movement.

That's the easy part (ibuprofen can fix!), what I didn't bank on is that my road confidence has literally been smashed out of me when I hit the road. Being near cars just completely scares the absolute shit out of me now, considering I did this on a Sunday, I sense an actual weekday might be a real issue to over come.

I'm quite annoyed (with everything else) with the guy who did this, the break is bad enough but the next few months is probably going to be the hardest part of this all.

On the arm front, I have to keep putting more weight on it, force movement until its sore and get the elbow back to what it was kind of like before. The Bone Crusher is very positive, I'm less apprehensive now that I'm only 22 degrees of movement away from full movement.

If I can't get any further or if I only get a few more degrees and that's it, I can live with that if I can't get 100% movement back. But I'm aiming for 110% synergetic movement (to coin a bollocks managementism).

I've started to get a touch of issue off the left hand, but the bruise that has been on there since the accident seems to be going away so perhaps that shall be the last of that considering I don't have to put everything on it all the time.

So in general, more positive, still pain (but good pain) and considering this mornings fear soaked success I can start looking forward and stop bitching about hitting the deck.

Posted via LiveJournal app for iPhone.