Kévin

The usual new year fun of walking home as, although the RATP likes to shout that everything is free and easy to get home, it very much isn't.

Not a single bus or métro runs near my house from the 1er, so lolz.

But to add on to this, my phone decided that life was too hard and completely died, meaning I'm slowly being locked out of accounts and unable to do anything at all.  Plus I'm completely uncontactable outside of my house, and for Whatsapp, just not at all contactable anywhere.  Happy days.

The irony is that I can't even buy a new phone on a contract, since my banking app is tied to that piece of shit, it won't allow me to authorise the transation.

So fuck you 2018, you're already being a pain in the ass.

So this Saturday was pretty much an utter washout for about a hundred reasons, but let’s just start off with the events only a few hours after it started.

Living in a city centre flat it’s not unusual for cunts druken clubbers to press the intercom every so often at unsocial times in the night. The sound this thing makes is probably louder than the fire alarms, but thankfully I have developped a tolerance of about 1 or 2 buzzes before I wake up with a shock and that shit drops like it’s hot when I’m woken up.

At 3.21 (I remember this as I used it as a part of a venomous rant) it started buzz Buzz BUZZZZZZZZ BUZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ BUZZZZZZZZZZZZZ I literally jump out of bed, slammed my foot on the floor in shock and ribs screaming out like I just been punched. I came up to the intercom and blasted out WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU FUCKING WANT, IT’S THREE-TWENTY-FUCKING-ONE IN THE MORNING?!?!?//1/1/1/ONEONEONE she replies I want to speak to Keith, I know he lives on this road, I need to speak to him! I’ve just been mugged and I want to speak to Keith! at this point I enabled tolerance mode, he’s not in this flat, I think he’s either 4 or 1. Do you need the police? she replies No, I want Keith, I want to speak with Keith. Which button are you so I don’t press you again, Keith lives on this street! I tell her I’m the second button to the top and I leave her to it.

She continues to sound the death siren on my intercom regardless. At this point tolerance mode is starting to ware thin, I offered assistance, it was declined, ignored and she’s clearly pissed as a fart.

The next person she gets is the woman below me, who is actually rather nice (she cleaned the entire public areas from ground to top floors carpets, tile floor and dusted with no question just for the sake of it). Much like my greeting was WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT, IT’S THREE FUCKING AM, WHAT ARE YOU STUPID?same conversation ensues "I want Keith *blah blah* lives on this street *blah blah*" she mentions the mugging thing, the lady down stairs offers to ring the police which is declined. Like me she then left her to it.

Yet, still continues to buzz every flat in the building. Now I’m already savage about this as she’s got as much help from two random strangers she could ever need chucked it in our faces and is continuing to annoy us, even though it appears Keith either doesn’t fucking live here or he’s not in if he did. It’s also not considering that I have to be up in 90 minutes for work and same thing with the flat below as they both work weekends as well.

*BANG* *BANG* *BANG* *BUZZ* *BUZZ* *BUZZ* (and repeat).

I’m just about to pick up the intercom and read her the riot act when the window below opens up and the woman below (who is quite Spanish) basically tells her how it is.

WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU STILL DOING? IF YOU DON’T WANT THE POLICE THEN FUCK OFF, FUCKING BITCH IT’S THREE AM, GO AWAY, HE’S NOT HERE, GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE, STUPID BITCH" she retorts BUT I’VE BEEN MUGGED DON’T YOU UNDERSTAND I WANT KEITH, HE LIVES HERE, ON THIS STREET, HOW LONG HAVE YOU LIVED THERE? KEITH HAS LIVED HERE LONGER THAN YOU HAVE" now by now I probably would have poured a kettles worth of boiling water on her head, I totally understand that she’s in a shitty place right now, but we tried to help her and actually it’s her problem and not ours that she got mugged. The arguement contnued for another 15 minutes with highlights of FUCKINGSTUPIDFUCKINGBITCHFUCKYOU and KEITH HE LIVES HERE ON THIS STREET.

By about 4am she finally fucks off, where she went who the fuck cares, but maybe she sobered up enough to go find a copper. I know the woman downstairs called them, but at that time on a Saturday morning the ETA for any emergency service is somewhere around an hour by phone. I managed to get less than an hours sleep after that and I was not feeling being awake when I woke up again to go to work.

To and from work I was just hanging, I couldn’t get my brain to spark and it was pretty much information in, garbage out.

Once I got home this over-all tiredness on top of everything kind of made me crack a bit under the pressure. I was lying in bed, well, the sofa as my airbed popped on christmas day and I worked out that for yet another month I’m going to have £150 less than I need to basically exist (because it’s not living I’ll tell you that now). This month is pretty bad, I worked out I can’t watch television for the remainder of the month as I don’t have the electricity to spare (I’m on a pre-payment meter) now when you don’t have any money at all to go out and do things Television is about all you have to keep you from going insane.

I also had only £10 for my food budget, so I sat there feeling guilty because I spent £5 on a taco kit and beef from Tescos as it meant I basically had only enough to buy 40 sausages and 2kg of chips from Iceland (£3) followed by a few instant noodles (at 10p each), toilet roll (ASDA Smart Price) and a few deoderants and shower gells (again all cheap Smart Price stuff) to live off for the rest of the month. It also got to me that I don’t have a pair of socks that isn’t 2 years old and without holes in them, I haven’t bought a new item of clothing probably since 2009 and I pretty much have no social life to speak of.

So I kind of sparked last night and I kind of decided that I have no other option but to stop paying for the debt that is keeping me down still. This means that basically I’m going to have to make an appointment with the CAB to see about IVAs or possibly even Bankruptcy as I can’t keep on top of it any more.

I’ve cut my budget as far down as I could, I’ve even cut in to essential items, I’ve sold as much as I possibly can on eBay, I’ve had to take my car off the road and I might even have to get rid of it and it’s affecting my mental and physical state so severely it’s not healthy to continue like this. But when the end of this month hits and these companies don’t get their cash it’s going to be an onslaught of harassment from debt collection companies which means I’ll basically be scared of picking up my phone again.

I have to ask why does my life have to end up so shit? There must be some kind of logic to this, because I work hard enough for it not to be shit (6 days a week and on call 24/7). But here I am getting ready to cook saussage and chips which I’ve been eating for over a month now.

But on the brightside I have at least lost nearly 2 stone. So there are few positives.

I'm really sick of having to deal with debt collectors, today I got a text message from probably one of the slimeyest of them all, I called them up basically to find out what the hell they wanted and to fob them off to my debt management plan like the little shits should be doing from the start.

I've never been threatened like that before.  If I hadn't been dealing with this shit from my previous employers ass cuntery for about a year now I'd probably started crying or slit my wrists.  But because I know my shit, I put the phone down on the saggy scottish cow and wrote a nice "fuck you" email:-

Attachment:- http://www.oft.gov.uk/about-the-oft/legal-powers/legal/cca/debt-collection (PDF on site)

Yvonne,

I wish to make a complaint about a conversation I held earlier with one of your colleagues. I have attached the current version of the OFT Guidelines on debt collection practices which can be found on their website.

I refer you to section 2.8 refering to decptive/unfair methods, particularly items c and e. As well as section 2.6 item f. During my phone call your colleague demanded I pay the full amount as "legal proceedings have already commenced" which in itself is a false statement, she also refused to negotiate or speak to my debt management company as well as not accepting any form of payment plan.

I informed her that I was unable to pay this amount in one lump sum, she still continued to make this demand until I terminated the phone call. She then called me back and left a message stating that "this matter will not go away" and to "call back to discuss to avoid legal action".

As your phone calls are recorded I formally request you send me a copy of this call. Further more I request you no longer contact me by phone or at my address at any time and only correspond by post.

If I do not receive a satisfactory response from your organisation I will persue this matter with the Office of Fair Trading.

Regards,
Kevin Costelloe

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I know I was not speeding cos I was listenin' to mah gospel music!